2. Masculinity is a black hole. One week clean shaven is masculine. The next week, a beard is masculine. Jeans are masculine, but a suit can be masculine as well. Masculinity is a word that is used to make men justify their character and incongruencies.
3. Masculinity is relevant to the observer. This iswhy men do not know how to respond to certain situations like break ups, being fired, or other devastating losses. For example, in Japan, samurai’s would commit suicide after losing a fight. This type of display of “masculinity” projected that the man would rather die than to be seen amongst his family and community as someone who lost. Ancient Spartans supported a similar belief.
4. It is a silent fact that over 85% of men contemplate suicide after heartbreaking
breakups. It is not uncommon for men to go through dark stages of alcohol and drug use to deal with their emotional pain.
5. Congruency is the harmonious balance of the many hats that one man wears. It is the external representation of his inner frame. One can appear really “cool” on the surface, but is a nerd at heart. This is known as incongruence. But a person may appear to be a nerd on the surface, but behave very congruently with his external avatar, which can be very attractive to a woman. Women give “shit tests” to test the congruency of a man, in order to get him to justify his character to her.
6. The notion that a “masculine man” takes charge, supports and provides, and is confident, but the definition itself has no real meaning other than what is relative to the character. This leaves room for lots of confusion of how a man is “supposed” to act in certain situations based on gender, or when situations arise that prevent a man from being in charge, support and provide, or remain confident. Knowing that masculinity is a black hole forces a man to take his stance on how he would like the character of his masculinity to be poplocked.